Alone

     Solitude is something I greatly appreciate. Until recently, I never had a lot of chances to be alone. I lived in my grandparents' house with my two sisters, my stepbrother, my mom, and my stepdad. We are all loud people, so all of us living together rarely allowed for any quiet moments. As of last year, we all don't live in the same house anymore, so it has been a lot quieter. However, just because there's less people in the house doesn't mean the people themselves are any quieter. So between the loudness of my big family and being in school most of the day, solitude is something I don't come across very often.
     Every once in a couple months, my grandparents will visit my uncle in Florida for a couple weeks. This means that I get the house to myself for that period of time. I am so thankful for those couple weeks of peace. Last August, I had the house to myself for three weeks. It was lovely. I had to go to Gallery for the first week, but I had no set plans for the following two weeks. Even without adult supervision, I went on about my day like I normally would with the addition of a few more responsibilities. The thing I did a lot more than usual was shop for food. The grocery store is just down the block, so I would go there about two or three times a week because I never bought more food than was needed for a couple days at a time. I also walked there, so my purchases were limited to how much I could carry.
     I cooked almost all my meals. I hardly ever went out to eat or made something that was previously frozen. I took a lot of time and preparation with my food, too. The usual cold-cut sandwich for lunch turned into a sandwich with provolone, mozzarella, prosciutto, olive oil, and freshly picked basil from my garden. I would then heat up the sandwich to melt the cheese. I only put that much effort into my meals when I am alone and have time. I also baked a lot during my three weeks of being alone. It was wonderful.
     Solitude gives me a chance to actually enjoy activities that I like, such as cooking and baking. I had complete freedom during those three weeks, but I also had complete responsibility of everything. I had to keep the house in order, I had to feed myself, and I had to worry about transportation. I usually have these responsibilities on a normal basis, but they become more solidified when I'm alone. Regardless, I still really like being alone. I like how I have complete freedom, and I like how I can reflect on what I'm doing.
   

I Know This Means Something

    There are definitely a couple things in my life that I consider to have meaning. For the time being, I'm going to focus on being part of the Young Company. "A Funny Thing Happens on the Way to the Forum" opens on December 1, which is less than a week away. The musical is funny, the music is great, the actors are wonderful, and all the technical aspects of the musical are pulling together nicely. However, putting together a musical like this one in 6 weeks is not an easy task to accomplish. It can be very stressful, and it is definitely very time-consuming. I put a lot of effort into my work for the Young Company, so it is one of the more meaningful things in my life.
     I don't act for Company, I work on the technical aspects. There are a lot of people on tech, and the work is divided up into crews. I am a member of the Set Crew, which designs and builds the settings for the plays. As the Set Crew Chief, I lead the crew in the designing and building process. I'm the one who mainly talks to the director about everything in regards to my crew so that we are all on the same page. I mentioned earlier that being in Company is extremely time-consuming, which means I'm there at least 6 times a week. Saturdays are when we all come in for set construction. For this particular musical, we built 3 houses. That is easier said than done, but the houses look awesome. During the week, especially this week leading up to opening, rehearsal goes to about 7:00 or 7:30 each night. A lot of hard work and group effort goes into putting on this musical.
     As stressful as it is to put on a musical, the end result is totally worth it. Seeing the musical being performed will give me the biggest sense of accomplishment, and it'll make all the effort I put into it worth it. It doesn't matter that I lost sleep, drilled into my finger, or the fact that I haven't had a free Saturday since the end of September. That'll have greater meaning once the musical is being performed. I may get stressed out from being in Company, but I still come back for the next show. I'm a senior, and this will be my last musical. It is sad, but I'm already dreading the end of it just like I'm dreading the end of the spring show. Company is the thing I spend most of my time doing, and I am greatly attached to it. It has a lot of meaning for me, and I am so happy to be a part of it.

Frankl-ly Speaking

     Frankl does find meaning in being an inmate in a concentration camp. He knows that being an inmate comes with an immense amount of suffering and very possible death, so he decides to make his suffering and possible death meaningful. I think it takes a very strong will power to do what Frankl does, especially in a situation where it is so easy to just give up. Not only does Frankl make some meaning from his suffering, he thinks of something meaningful to keep him going. It is his wife, and I think it is also the manuscript that he had confiscated upon entry to the camp. Frankl talks about other inmates who are able to be talked out of suicide because they have someone or something outside the camp waiting for them.
     I was thinking about giving suffering meaning as we were watching Life is Beautiful. That movie starts out very happy and jovial, but it gets sadder as it progresses. Guido and his family are sent to a concentration camp. They get separated, leaving Guido with his son. Guido tries to protect his son by making the concentration camp a game. He turns the camp rules into game rules. If they follow the rules, they'll get a tank as a prize. This "game" is what essentially keeps Guido's son alive. Guido found meaning in sacrificing and protecting his son. Guido gave his ration of bread to his son on the first day of being in the camp, but Guido ultimately sacrifices his life to protect his son. Guido is shot, but he walked to his death in a joking manner so not to alarm his son. I think keeping up the charade of a game took a lot of determination from Guido. This determination to keep his son alive gave his life meaning, just like Frankl's determination to finish his manuscript helped him stay alive and give meaning to his suffering. 

A Direction the Class Needs

     I really enjoy this class. The people all have very different viewpoints and mindsets, which leads to great discussions and debates. I like how a variety of students participate, not just the same couple of kids. We do get off topic sometimes, but the discussion always comes back to the main point. I like how this class is mostly focused on discussion. Past English courses were all about literature analysis, grammar/vocabulary, and my absolute least favorite, research papers. We analyze books in this class, but it is always connected to some issue or idea in today's society. This class is so much more laid-back, but not too much. It does not make me feel stressed like past English classes.
     I really enjoyed the books we have read thus far. Candide was something I've wanted to read for a while. I really liked The Stranger, and a lot of other people do to. I was reading it on the train one time, and a woman sitting by me started talking to me about Camus and his other works. I like how the books make me think about the philosophy the author is discussing through the book. I just generally like how this class makes me think more. I don't think it needs any direction. It's fine the way it is. We have great discussions that provoke thought.

Voltaire and Camus are voting for....

     The presidential election is right around the corner, and the race is between the Democratic and Republican parties. There are other parties, but it is pretty much impossible in our government for a third party candidate to get electoral votes, let alone win the election. I am personally tired of all the political hype, and I think Voltaire and Camus would have their own opinions on this election if they were alive and living in America right now.
     Voltaire was a philosopher that poked fun at the government. Candide made jabs at the government in Voltaire's time, and I think he would do the same if he lived in the present-day. If Voltaire were to vote in this election, I have a feeling he would vote for a third party, or he might write in a candidate. Voltaire would probably not be a fan of either major political party candidate, but he would still vote. Voltaire believed that if one did not like the current situation, then one should "revolt" and try to change it.
     Camus was a philosopher who brought up the idea of absurdity. What if life has no meaning? If Camus truly lived by that philosophy, he would be completely indifferent to the election. I think he would vote if he felt like it, but he wouldn't if it got in the way of something else. I don't think voting would be such a big thing for Camus because what does it matter? We are all going to die anyway, and the election of the president does not really change anything. If Camus were to vote, I think he would probably vote for one of the major political party candidates because that's what everybody else is doing. I'm not sure which one. It depends on how he is feeling that day. I can actually see Camus voting for someone because he/she has a cool name because Camus is so indifferent to the election.
   

Life Meaning

Every individual has something in his or her life to make it meaningful. Whatever that is varies from person to person. I personally find meaning in two activities: learning new things and doing stuff on my own. I love learning because I like feeling more knowledgeable. Doing stuff on my own gives me the satisfaction of feeling independent. It is comforting to know that I can fend for myself.
Learning is something I took for granted when I was younger. As I got older, I realized that not every kid got an education and that I should be thankful for the one I have. I have gone to different types of schools including a suburban public elementary school, a parochial grammar school, and now a Chicago public school. The types of education do have their differences, but I did take something from each type of school I have attended. Each school has something unique about it, and each has made a contribution to what I know. I genuinely enjoy learning new things, and I know an education is the key to getting a decent job when I get out of college. The perfectionist in me is what pushes me to get good grades. My grades are the result of the two things I find meaning in. I worked for those grades on my own, and I learned something new in the process. I’m glad that these two things mean a lot to me because that is what is going to drive me to college.

Candide's Punishments, Do they Fit the Crime?

Candide received different punishments for different reasons throughout the book. The reasons are justified in the book, but I don’t think all of the punishments fit the crime. I think this is especially evident in the beginning of the Candide’s journey. He may have done something that is considered wrong, but I think Candide should not have received the punishments that he received.

The first punishment Candide received was banishment from the castle after being caught with Cunegonde. I think that was completely unfair. Both Candide and Cundegonde were naïve and had no idea that what they were doing was considered wrong. Cunegonde saw Master Pangloss “giving a lesson in experimental physics” to one of the maids, and Cunegonde believed she witnessed a true science experiment. She was the one who had the idea to try it with Candide. I’m not saying Candide is completely innocent in this situation, but he was innocent enough to not know the consequences of his actions. Candide was banished from the castle, and he becomes less naïve and innocent as time goes on.

I think it could be argued that Candide continually pays for his “crime” throughout the entire book. He just keeps getting into unfavorable situations and ends up committing some other crime. If he was never banished from the castle in the first place, none of the crimes following his banishments would ever have happened.

How Do I Know What I know?

When I was younger, I knew what I knew because someone I trusted told me so. Almost everything I thought to be true was told to me by a parent or some other trusted adult. As I got older, I knew what I knew through school. Going to class taught me a lot over the years. School taught me a lot of factual things, but pretty much everything else I know I learned through experience, or I questioned what I already knew. I think living through a situation or circumstance is the best way to learn about it because I’m experiencing it first-hand.

A particular thing I know is how to cook and bake. When I was younger, I was told that cooking food made it edible. I grew up watching my family cook, my mom and grandma especially. I was fascinated on how they could take ingredients that I wouldn't normally eat and turn them into something delicious. At this point, all I knew about cooking and baking came from watching others doing it or having it explained to me. My grandma would tell me how to make a lot basic Italian food, such as tomato sauce. As I got older, I began to try cooking and baking on my own. I was capable of reading a recipe, and I was now old enough to handle knives. I made a whole bunch of things to practice. It turned out I had a knack for making food just like my mom and grandma before me. As time went on, I would experiment with food without using a recipe even though I didn't do it too often. Last summer, I took part in the culinary program at Gallery 37. The instructors in that program were three chefs from Washburne Culinary School, and I had a lot to learn from them. We prepared enough food for 150 people for weekly buffets. The program exposed me to a lot of different types of food I wasn't very familiar with, and I learned how to make a lot of food in a short amount of time. When Gallery 37 ended, I took that experience home so I could use it for my own cooking. I began to cook more without recipes, especially when I had to cook for myself. I made a meal out of whatever ingredients I had available to me. It actually takes a little bit of creativity, which is something I didn't think I had a lot of.

In Summary: I learned how to cook and bake first through being told how and watching, then making food according to recipes, and then eventually making my own meals without the help of a recipe. The learning process was supplemented by the internship at Gallery 37. This is just one incident of learning, but I still believe that I know what I know through experience.

Unexamined Life Worth Living/Modern Gadfly

Is the unexamined life worth living? I don’t think so. I believe everything should be examined just to see things as they are. Some may argue that not examining everything is okay because there’s no reason to question it. That life is just fine the way it is, so why go looking for something to change that? I thinking leaving that sense of reality alone is like lying to yourself. The rest of your life is being ignored. Yes, there is a good chance you might not like what you learn, but that’s part of growing up and maturing. It’s better to have an idea of what’s out there rather than being sheltered. I would rather examine everything then draw my own conclusions rather than not having any idea about anything and then being in a state of ignorance. Examining things causes questioning, and this in turn makes a person capable of thinking. Thinking for yourself is something I put a lot of value on, and I think examining everything helps foster that.

Another thing that gets people thinking is gadflies. In my opinion, a modern day gadfly is no other than our own Jeremiah Ilao. I personally am in three of the same classes with him, including Philosophy and Contemporary American History. In both classes, he just says whatever idea is on his mind, no matter how odd it may seem to the other students in the room. He’s no Socrates, but Jeremiah is a person who will just sit there and question you. He’s not afraid to state his ideas, but one could argue his constant talking in class can be a bit annoying since he doesn’t know how to whisper. Anyway, if “gadfly” is being used in a sense meaning “a person who goes around questioning and getting people talking,” then Jeremiah fits the role.

Eulogy

Kirsten is known as a smart kid. She has decent grades, and she’s striving to get admitted into a selective college. She wants to eventually have a worthwhile job that she actually enjoys. She wants to do research in medicine to develop treatments and cures for sicknesses that don’t have any. Science and medicine are interesting to her, so having a career in that field would be perfect her.
In the present time, Kirsten not only takes pride in her grades, but also in working on theater tech for the Young Company and her cooking and baking. She has been part of the Young Company since her freshman year, and she became a crew head her junior year. She’s part of the crew that designs and builds the sets for the plays.  She spends a great majority of her time in Company. It is time-consuming and stressful at times, but she loves seeing the final product come together. It’s really rewarding to finish the play on opening night because there’s a great sense of accomplishment. When she’s not in Company, Kirsten likes to cook and bake. It’s one of the few creative things that she’s good at. She participated in the culinary program at Gallery 37 over the summer, and that was another thing that Kirsten really enjoyed doing.
As a senior, Kirsten is mostly concerned with college apps. Besides that, she actually enjoys a majority of her classes. Some of her teachers have a lot of personality, which is much appreciated. She will be sad to be leaving Company once the school year is over because she has spent almost her whole high school career being involved in that extra curricular. She’ll also be sad to be leaving some of her good friends once college starts, but they all have to do it eventually. They’ll all be going on to pursue their goals and hopefully achieving them.